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The Retro-Zone

In the Retro-Zone anything is possible:

The Betamax: The original vcr, some say better, but definitely more expensive.

Next, a list of 80's weirdness with random images from the era of entertainment:

• Wendy's "Where's The Beef?" (T-shirts, general hysteria over this).
• The Meineke "I'm not gonna pay a lot for this muffler" drill sargeant.
• Bruce Willis "It's wet and it's dry" Seagrams's Golden wine coolers.
• "Why 1984 won't be like 1984" - Macintosh

Rubicks Cube: Such a clever little puzzle box!

• Mr. Baseball, his boys, and Miller Lite. His boys? I don't know.
• M&M's Easter ad (high-pitched kid saying "Thank you Easter Bunny." followed up with "Bwok, Bwok!")
• Keebler Tato Skins "Cheddar cheese and bacon, sour cream and chives, tasty baked potatos, you won't believe your eyes"
• California Raisins "I Heard It Through The Grapevine..." (figurines, general hysteria)

H.R. Puff'n'Stuff: Experts still can't agree what this stuff did to young impressionable minds.

• "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." Kelly LeBrock and her Pantene shampoo.
• "Move over bacon, here comes something leaner!" bacon goes away and Sizzilean comes floating down to the plate. "Why izzle fat when you can SizziLEAN!"
• Bonkers candy (huge fruits would fall from the sky and knock out the eater)
• (Matt LeBlanc [Joey on Friends]) sets a bottle of ketchup on the ledge of a tall building, runs down to street level, and catches the super-thick ketchup on his hot dog at the hot dog stand - Heinz ketchup guy
• Burger King's "Where's Herb?" promotion (if you saw Herb in a BK, you won, I don't know, a Whopper?)
• Spuds Mackenzie for BUD beer (associated hysteria and propaganda)
• "I've fallen... and I can't get up!" Med*Alert beepers.

Simon: Like a memory training UFO discotechque.

• Calgon ("Calgon take me away" "ancient Chinese secret")
• Cheezy board game commercials that always seemed to end with someone exclaming "I WIN!"
• $1,000,000 McDonald's promo contest, following song distributed on those square vinyl records - if you won, it said so at the end of the song. What songs were on those anyways, the Hamburgler rap?

Portable Pacman: Pacman can now be played anywhere, in amazing LCD graphics!

• Kiss a little longer with the help of Big Red chewing gum.
• Bounty paper towel ads with Rosie and the "quicker picker upper" a true giant.

BigTrack: Because we all know six is better than four.

• Burger King commerical with the girls at a slumber party and they scream at the mention of fried McDonald's patties.
• Calvin Klein ads with Brooke Shields - "Do you wanna know what comes between me and my Calvins.....NOTHING."
• Crest toothpaste's Cavity Creeps ads

Max Headroom: The glitchy stuttering computer graphics guy.

Styx: Domo ari gato Mr. Roboto
They may have been a 70's band, but they sure knew how to stay current!

• Dr. Pepper ads - "I'm a pepper, you're a pepper, she's a pepper, he's a pepper, wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?"
• Diet Pepsi ad with Michael J. Fox running through rain, over car hoods, and through traffic to get a Diet Pepsi for his girlfriend.
• Dominos Pizza's Noid.

Breakin': Lockin, Poppin, and Breakin back when everybody had moves.

• EF Hutton ads - "When EF Hutton speaks, people listen"
• Eggo waffles ads - "Leggo my Eggo"
• Hershey breakdance commercial

David Hasslehoff And Gary Coleman: Michael Knight And Arnold Drummond together at last.

Teenwolf: The best (and the scariest) of all the werewolf movies.

• Honeycombs cereal's Honeycomb Hideout ads
• Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum showdown with cowboys
• IBM PC Jr. ads with Charlie Chaplin lookalike
• Impulse body spray for women ads - "When a man you have never met before gives you flowers, that's Impulse."
• Kit-Kat commercials - "Gimme a break! Gimme a break! Break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar!!"

Garbage Pail Kids: Fun to collect, and appreciate in value!

• Mc Donald's Mac Tonight ads (moon playing a piano to the song "Mac the Knife")
• MCI's Parents ad - elderly parents reflect on talking to their son long distance, all teary-eyed, and then start crying when they see their phone bill.
• Meow Mix ads with singing cats ("Meow meow meow meow...")
• Michelob Beer commercial with Genesis.
• "Milk, It does a body good."
• "I want my MTV!"
• "Nair for short shorts"

Creepshow: The cryptkeeper always delivered the screams.

• Palmolive - "Madge, I soaked in it!"
• Pepsi commercials with Michael Jackson and his brothers, promoting their "V" tour.
• Pringles Potato Chips jingle - "I've got the fever for the flavor of the Pringles (CRUNCH!!)"
• Purina Chuckwagon dog food ads with the little chuckwagon zipping across the kitchen past the dog.
• Push Pops - "Don't push me. Push a Push Pop."
• Reese's Pieces ad with the short blue alien.

Footloose: Little remembered fact about the 80's, for a short while it was illegal to dance!

• 7-Up - Black man wearing all white who says "Never had it. Never will."
• Shasta - "I wanna pop-pop-pop... I wanna... Shasta!"
• Smith Barney - John Houseman saying "Smith Barney. They make money the old fashioned way. They eaaaaaarn it."
• Starkist Tuna - "Sorry, Charlie, Starkist wants tunas that taste good, not tunas with good taste!"
• Sunbeam Bread - "I like bread and butter, I like toast and Jam. I like the taste of Sunbeam Bread, its my favorite brand!!"
• Sunkist - "Good Vibrations"

Electrawoman And Dynagirl: Before making super hero stuff garaunteed success.

• Sure deodorant - "Raise your hand! Raise your hand if your sure!"
• "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a 'Toys R Us' kid..."
• Toffifay - "Toffifay, it's too good for kids"

Fast Times At Ridgemont High: I'm pretty sure Sean Penn won an oscar
for his immaculately portrayed surfer/stoner.

• Trix cereal - "Will the rabbit get some Trix?" (kids voted against it)
• V8 - People hit themselves in the head and say "I could have had a V8!"
• Vlassic pickles - The stork that delivers pickles.
• Arrid Extra Dry - "Get a little closer. Now don't be shy!"
• Welch's Grape Juice - Children's clothing turning purple on them.

Enik: Land Of The Lost's sleestack ambassador to mankind.

• Wendy's "Russian Fashion Show" - The same fat, ugly Russian woman keeps coming out on the runway with the same grey outfit on, and various props.
• Ernest P. Worrell ads (as in "Hey Vern!")
• Exclamation perfume - "Don't wear it if you don't mean it."
• Reeses Peanut Butter Cups - "You got peanut butter on my chocolate!" "No, you got chocolate in my peanut butter!"
• Bud Light - "Not that kind of light, a Bud Light!"

Wonderbug: Arch nemesis of Herbie the love bug.

• Talking Pee-Wee Herman doll - "No TV, No TV. What now? New talkin' Peee-Weee is really nuttty. (He's cuckoo)" - Chimps playing with Pee-Wee doll, mom dressed up vacuuming.
• GLAD storage bags - "Hefty Hefty Hefty, wimpy wimpy wimpy"
• Domino's Pizza Avoid the Noid (even a video game for the IBM PC)

Well that was weird.

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